A Summarized Theological and Pastoral Justification for Admitting Men Without Church-Solemnized Marriages to Holy Communion by Rev. Ndoria Stephen
Introduction: A Pastoral Burden Rooted in Theological Reflection…
It is with pastoral concern, theological responsibility, and love for the flock entrusted to our care that I submit this paper on the matter of admitting men whose marriages have not been solemnized in a church ceremony to the Lord’s Table. Recent debates within our sessions and presbyteries have revealed divergent opinions on this sensitive issue. As shepherds of God’s people, we must return to the authority of Scripture, the confessions of our Reformed tradition, and the heart of pastoral care to provide sound guidance…
1. The Biblical Basis for Admission to the Lord’s Table…
The Holy Communion is not a reward for moral achievement but a means of grace for sinners who come in faith and repentance. The New Testament sets forth three primary qualifications for participation at the Lord’s Table…
1.1. Personal Faith in Jesus Christ…
The Apostle Paul emphasizes in 1 Corinthians 11:28:
“Let a person examine himself, then, and so eat of the bread and drink of the cup.”
The essential criterion is a living and reflective faith—not sinless perfection. Each communicant must examine themselves to confirm their trust in Christ and sincere desire to walk in His ways…
1.2. Repentance and Good Standing…
Paul’s counsel to the Corinthian church (1 Corinthians 5:11) highlights the seriousness of unrepentant sin. Those engaged in gross, public, and unrepentant offenses that defile the church’s witness must be lovingly disciplined and withheld from the Table until repentance is evident…
1.3. Freedom from Public Scandal and Unrepentant Offense…
In Matthew 18:15–17, Jesus outlines the pastoral steps for addressing sin: private confrontation, witnesses, and finally, the wider church. Exclusion from the Table only follows after persistent refusal to repent despite repeated, loving correction…
John Calvin, in his Institutes of the Christian Religion (4.12.5), reminds us:
“Those who by their scandalous conduct openly dishonor the name of Christ must be excluded from the Table until they repent, lest the holy ordinance be profaned.”
2. What Scripture Does Not Require: Church Solemnization through weddings as a Condition for Communion…
While Scripture upholds marriage as a covenant before God (Malachi 2:14) and exhorts Christians to live under lawful civil authority (Romans 13:1–7), nowhere does it mandate a church wedding as a prerequisite for participation in the Lord’s Supper…
Many faithful members in our congregations are lawfully and monogamously married according to state law and cultural custom but have not yet had their union solemnized in a church service. To add such a requirement for communion is to introduce a human tradition where God has given no command…
Louis Berkhof affirms this principle;
“The right to the Lord’s Supper belongs to all believers who possess the marks of true faith and repentance, not based on external rites or ceremonies beyond those instituted by Christ…” (Systematic Theology, p. 647)
3. Addressing the Greater Scandals: Ensuring Consistency and Justice in Church Discipline…
If we truly desire to fence the Table appropriately, our focus must remain on those sins that Scripture explicitly names as disqualifying, not administrative customs like wedding status and locations…
3.1. Neglect of Family Responsibilities…
Paul declares in 1 Timothy 5:8:
“But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever…”
This is a grave and scandalous sin that directly contradicts the Gospel witness. We have ministers and elders who have not neglected their families, which is a greater scandal from scripture than the location of a wedding…
Philip Towner notes:
“Failure to care for one’s family is not merely a personal flaw but a theological contradiction to the faith professed…” (NICNT: The Letters to Timothy and Titus, p. 338)
3.2. Financial Corruption and Abuse of Office…
In Titus 1:7, Paul commands:
“For an overseer, as God’s steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain…”
Elders and ministers guilty of corruption and abuse of office represent a far greater threat to the purity of the Table than the status location of a marriage…
R.C. Sproul warns:
“Unrepentant sin that exploits or injures the flock is not only pastoral failure but a sacramental scandal…” (The Truth of the Cross, p. 112)
3.3. Moral Hypocrisy Among Church Leaders…
Jesus reserved His strongest condemnations for religious leaders guilty of moral duplicity;
In Matthew 23:27–28, Jesus calls out religious leaders…
“Woe to you… For you are like whitewashed tombs… outwardly appear righteous… but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness… “
D.A. Carson observes;
“Moral duplicity among leaders undermines the credibility of the gospel and profanes all sacred acts, including the Lord’s Supper…” (Expositor’s Bible Commentary: Matthew, p. 484)
4. Reformed Confessions and Responsible Fencing of the Table…
The Westminster Larger Catechism (Q.173) rightly asks:
“May any who profess the faith, and desire to come to the Lord’s Supper, be kept from it?”
The answer;
“Such as are found to be ignorant or scandalous, notwithstanding their profession of the faith… ought not to be admitted until they receive instruction and manifest amendment…”
Church discipline should target genuine moral failures and doctrinal ignorance; not culturally-specific rites absent from apostolic command…
Michael Horton advises;
“The church must discipline real sins, not invent new ones that God has not commanded…” (People and Place: A Covenant Ecclesiology, p. 298)
5. Pastoral Pathway Forward: Teaching and Encouraging, Not Excluding…
This position does not diminish the importance of church solemnization of marriage. On the contrary, we should;
- Teach clearly on the covenantal nature of marriage…
- Encourage all couples toward church blessing at the earliest opportunity…
- Provide pastoral counseling to address any hindrances to solemnization…
- Offer affordable, accessible opportunities for group or cost free weddings for those hindered by financial or logistical challenges…
Yet, we must avoid making church solemnization a prerequisite for participation at the Lord’s Table lest we place unnecessary stumbling blocks before God’s people…
6. Conclusion: A Call for Theological Integrity and Pastoral Compassion
Brothers and sisters, let us guard the Table according to the Word of God—not according to human custom or administrative procedure. As under-shepherds of Christ’s flock, we must avoid making the Lord’s Table more exclusive than Christ Himself has made it…on the first night of the communion, Jesus didn’t even exclude Judas even when he knew about the betrayal money in his pocket…
Let our discipline be scripturally grounded, pastorally sensitive, and gospel-centered. In doing so, we will preserve both the holiness of the Sacrament and the gracious invitation Christ extends to repentant sinners…